My Ideal Man.. – 28 (Davis Square)

100 things I’m looking for in a man..in no particular order..wishful thinking? Perhaps..haha…

1.) Laughs easily and often
2.) Kind
3.) Loves children
4.) Confident
5.) Financially Secure
6.) Educated
7.) Has a desire to travel
8.) Faithful
9.) Dependable
10.) Honest with himself and others
11.) Likes Classic Rock/Oldies
12.) Likes to read
13.) Aware of what’s going on in the world/current events
14.) Accepting of all people/cultures
15.) Loves the ocean
16.) Has a desire to learn something new everyday/ seeks knowledge
17.) Likes going for long walks
18.) Able to have conversations/discussions about anything
19.) Enjoys being outside
20.) Knows how to cook on a grill!
21.) Takes care of himself/has good hygiene
22.) Stands up for himself
23.) Somewhat sarcastic
24.) Enjoys wine
25.) Loves animals
26.) Is on time
27.) Responsible
28.) Shows respect to everyone–especially women
29.) Gets along well with my dad & the rest of my family
30.) Patient
31.) Tall
32.) Loves his family
33.) Good with electronics/ tools
34.) Open-minded
35.) Non-judgemental
36.) Enjoys movies
37.) Likes baseball
38.) Somewhat athletic
39.) Has a nice smile
40.) Enjoys a cocktail every now and then…
41.) Calm under pressure
42.) Good with directions/ navigation
43.) Doesn’t drive erratically
44.) Enjoys live music/ concerts
45.) Spontaneous
46.) Good kisser
47.) Loyal
48.) Enjoys hanging out with my friends
49.) Good listener
50.) Trustworthy
51.) Doesn’t get too jealous
52.) Encourages me to achieve my dreams
53.) Has goals
54.) Not argumentative
55.) Doesn’t have a short temper
56.) Isn’t afraid to spend money, but also knows how to save it
57.) Makes me feel safe
58.) Finds my quirkiness endearing
59.) Allows me to be independent/ doesn’t try to control me
60.) Is polite and has manners
61.) Thoughtful
62.) Good memory/ not forgetful
63.) Healthy
64.) Opinionated but open-minded
65.) Mature
66.) Smiles easily
67.) Strong morals
68.) Knows how to cheer me up
69.) Doesn’t do drugs excessively
70.) Isn’t addicted to nicotine
71.) Doesn’t have a drinking problem
72.) Considerate/aware of my feelings
73.) Isn’t reckless
74.) Understanding
75.) Loves roller coasters
76.) Eats somewhat healthy
77.) Attentive
78.) Good friend
79.) Appreciates me
80.) Gives me compliments
81.) Not always afraid to show emotion when it’s appropriate
82.) Enjoys being social
83.) Likes quiet evenings at home
84.) Knows how to make a campfire
85.) Doesn’t mind that I’m not religious
86.) Knows how to tell a story
87.) Doesn’t always go to bed early!
88.) Let’s me be me
89.) Likes to try new things
90.) Participates in volunteer work
91.) Humble/ not cocky
92.) Makes me laugh
93.) Makes me feel desired
94.) Is at peace with himself
95.) Isn’t selfish
96.) Thinks I’m beautiful
97.) Is comfortable with himself
98.) Cares about/helps others
99.) Holds me when I’m upset
100.) Loves me, loves me, loves me.

How does your list read? If you read this far, I’m curious!

P.S. A little about me (if you’re still interested after all of my tongue-and-cheek “demands”!) haha:
I am happy, upbeat, grounded, intelligent, witty, out-going, blonde & 5′6″, attractive, kind…and ultimately just want to find someone who compliments me..but I’m in no rush. I’m very content to be single and I have no problem meeting people out and about, but what’s the harm in giving this a shot as well?

no way I can capture all this shit in one shot

Phew, at least, “Having a 9 inch sausage” is not on the list

Power glove handjob – 22 (Lake Worth)

I’m looking for a girl who will give me a handjob / blowjob while wearing the Nintendo Power Glove. I’m dead serious. I would love this.

PS. That is not me in the photo. I am much more handsome.

PPS. NO NERDS!!!

It’s actually a good idea, I have to try that myself

lookin 4 a gd chik

hello names richy im 39 an i wanna find a chik i can kik it with im strait like 2 party some im wht 510 have pic so if u wanna a guy whos a lil red around tha collar hollr thanx

Basic rules to get laid #137: try to write ads with proper grammar

moth – w4m – 28 (Pearland)

Hi. I am just looking for someone to come over and a moth. Not only is it flying in my face….but it seems to be giving me “lustful” eyes. AHHHH IT just did it again! Please respond asap, as I cant go to sleep until it is ed.

ED = Erection Dysfunction?

Damsel looking for Prince – w4m – 40 (Houston)

I am looking for a job, but none to be found. I thought I would try looking in this direction. I need help! I need to buy my kids Christmas, I need a car, job, place, money. CAN YOU HELP? I am very sensual and very available.

Prostitution is illegal in 49 states in the US by the way

“Baggage” – I can’t deal with actual human beings
“Curvy” – fat
“Drama free” – I’m still bitter and involved with the last guy who got me pregnant
“Love to laugh” – I am a boring as hell so hopefully you can make it entertaining
“Looking…” – spam

“Must love…” – spam
“Partner in crime” – I’m as clever and interesting as a brick
“Seeking…” – spam
“Sensual” – fat
“Something real” – spam
“Treat me…” – fat black woman with a highly undeserved sense of entitlement
No picture – fat
Picture of sunset, flower, cocktail, eyes – fat
Three or four sentence post of superficial crap with picture of cute or hot woman – spam
“Not looking for sex” – I’ll blow you
Five paragraphs long post – I’m fucking insane

M4W (Men for Women)

“see what happens” – I’m hoping for at least a fingerbang
“down to earth” – boring
“sincere” – needy
“romantic” – needy
“drama-free” – I need a vagina that won’t bother me after I’m done with it
No picture – I resemble a creature from Middle-earth
Picture of anything else other than a person – I will give you an STD
“Love to eat pussy” – Don’t really know which part the pee or the baby comes out of
“spoil you” – I hope you’re into watersports
“lets chat” – My other hand is on my erection
“love [music, movies, tv]” – I’m a cultural retard
“experienced” – one or two date rape convictions

Location: Chicago